Friend,

I know you're busy, but I have just three incredibly important things to share with you about the future of this website.

Here's what's happening:

1. If we're going to protect our fundamental freedom of doing things because they're funny and we're bored, there's no better way than to support me, the most special person in the world, creating a mailing list because it's funny and I'm bored. I'll deliver this message loud and clear.

2. The nation is in chaos and disarray from the excessive number of social media platforms in use. Without a subscription feature, it's impossible to tell everyone who's interested in my blog posts about a new release, leaving thousands tragically in the dark. It's either this, or I spend 5 minutes telling my friends about my website.

3. People across the country are looking for ways to connect with each other. In these times, I am fighting for our diverse coalition by delivering entertaining and moving community-oriented experiences, such as an upcoming collaborative online canvas. Okay, it's just r/place, but I will get rid of the delay between pixel placing.

That's where you come in: According to our records, you're a top Zorzalite. I'll be counting on you to support my mission to continue to waste valuable time on this stupid website.

Will you please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list? It's absolutely critical that you continue to feed my ego and make me feel popular and appreciated.

Thank you for doing your part,

Zorzal HQ

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We sincerely thank you for your help and support.